I'm a princess...

So a few months ago i found myself saying this phrase on numerous occasions 'Do you feel like a princess?'
It was my first experience of wedding dress shopping. Now i must say that what you watch on the television is all a lie. There is no champagne. This, i was highly disappointed with. However i was highly impressed with the size of the mirrors they had.

The shop its self was pretty boring, the carpet was a dark cream colour kind of like coffee... and had stains on it. It didn't smell all that amazing either the room not the carpet... 

The rails were full of ivory coloured wedding gowns, with only two or three actual white dresses. So many to choose from. A lot of bling bling in this particular shop. I always imagined that i would walk into a wedding dress shop and be like WOW all of them are beautiful but this was not my reaction i was somewhat disappointed. There were many beautiful dresses but i guess I'm more fussy than i first thought. There were 2 women working in the shop that day. They were sisters. It is a family business.  One was slightly over weight, long blond hair starting to go silver at the top, big beautiful smile, lovely woman. Really friendly, quite a bubbly personality very helpful. Married 4 children. Her sister however came across the opposite. Blunt, not very friendly, looked rather stroppy. She walked in high heels, but she couldn't really walk in them. we shall call the bubbly sister, Bubbles and the stroppy sister..... stroppy.

I was very grateful when we turned up for our appointment at 3, after the high heel walking sister had booked us in, to find that the bubbly sister was the one who would be assisting me and Bird with the wedding dress adventure. She was very helpful and helped us when we needed. Me and bird picked out 4 dresses to start with 3 were of the fish tale kind 1 was a 'princess' dress and the other was a plain looking dress which was actually a brides maid dress. After we had picked some dresses to try we were shown to the changing room. I was amazed with the mirrors. They were ginourmas!  Bird went into which was basically a small section covered in massive curtains. I kept my self busy, taking pictures in the massive mirrors whilst asking bubbles lots of weird and wonderful questions.

Me keeping myself occupied, with the massive mirrors. 

 (I love asking questions, its like the best way to get to know people and its really handy if people are not very natural at flowing conversations.) So i waited while Bubbles and Bird were in the changing room and there was dress on the floor and a oo here and whoops sorry think i pulled the pin out, sounded  a little messy. Then Bubbles opened the curtain and there was my Bird.

WOW! the first thing i said was do you feel like a princess birdie!? ( i asked her this every time she tried a new dress on) you look like one! I have to be honest, i don't really like fishtail type dresses, they just don't do it for me. However birdie did look beautiful. Beautiful lace and detail was just amazing. The next 2 dresses were of similar style one was a high neck lace dress the other had little lacy straps. Then she tried on the one i found.

It was a very simple dress no big train, not big and fluffy but boy oh boy i fell in love! it suited her perfectly it was so beautiful. I was like Bird you look like a princess! Bird tried on one more dress this one was white, it was a nice dress but it was very white!

We left the shop and sat in burger king and pondered on our experience. I was so proud of Birdie, she isn't a fan of crowds and lots of people but we managed to stay out all day. I was privileged to have her arm wrapped in mine as we walked through the people in and out of shops.
I new Bird had her heart set on a dress she had tried on the day before, she showed me a picture of her in the dress and oh my gosh it was beautiful and it was everything birdie wanted in a dress. So it was between 2. The simple dress from Bubbles shop. or the princess dress from the day before.
The big difference was the price. I said well if she got the simple dress she could have all the extras hair, makeup, nails. All done professionally. So i said

'Throw a coin, because while it is in the air you decide which one you want.'

I can't take credit for this i had read it somewhere who knows how long ago but it has stuck with me. Bird was like 'core bird thats deep, where you hide that one!' i was like i have a few pearls hidden ya know :)

Anyways. It was a good experience.

Bird has the Dress she dreamed off. it wasn't the simple one but was the princess dress. Our Daddy  (God) stepped in and cut the price for her. I am so excited for my Bird. The man she is marrying is one of the loveliest gentlemen i have ever had the privilege of meeting and i can't wait for her big day.

Until then, we have wedding planning and ideas to bat around. I'm sure i shall blog about some other bits and bobs before her wedding in september! Its all a new experience for me!

thanks for reading!
God bless

Me and my Bird

Whoops.

I am so bad at blogging... i was totally ready to go and was like yeah man, I'm going to blog every week.... I'm lucky if i remember every month! whoops! my bad.

Life gets in the way sometimes don't you think? When your busy at work come home, then got to sort the kids out. (I don't have kids so i can't pretend like thats my excuse) or you're just too tired and veg out in front of the TV, you got work up to your eyeballs and can't concentrate on anything else, your at uni and you feel guilty if your not doing anything other than your essays. There are so many things that get in the way. The main reason i forget to blog is I'm too busy living life and enjoying real peoples company! i wouldn't change it for the world!!

Anyways, what i wanted to say was i hope you had a lovely christmas and a really fun NYE! hoping that 2014 already is bringing new adventures and much needed joy into your lives! :)
I am really looking forward to 2014! Not only because it is an even number, but i feel feel like this year is going to bring a new big adventure! I LOVE ADVENTURES! I am known by friends for adventures, doesn't matter when but some says adventure and I'm there! call me old fashioned but i love the outdoors!

2014 for me is a year of thankfulness on my Facebook i am posting a photo a day everyday. I'm hoping by doing this it will change not only my view of life but others. So very often do we concentrate on the negatives of life and not the positives, There is something to be thankful for everyday!

Here was my first thankful photo;

New Years. Era Party. Family 

Autumn is here!!

This is where i live.

My favourite time of year is autumn it is so beautiful! The trees look incredible with all the different colours coming out! and the leaves decorating the pavement like glitter on a page. 

After being home for summer i have been back in Lymm just over a month. It is great to be back at work, gosh i have missed my young people so much! It didn't take much to get back into the swing of things. A few things have changed since i have come back and it has made life a bit more interesting i'm no longer doing things which i was really enjoyed but i just know God has it all under control! 

God has been working on new exciting things though, he has really put on my heart to start up some drug education in my little area of Lymm. Me and Darren run a youth drop in called the Hub and the relationships i have built with some of the young people especially the girls is what i love the most about my work! I love the fact that they are honest with me and ask for my help and that i can share my faith with them. A lot of the young people including the girls are taking drugs and some of the lads are actually dealing them. The young people have actually asked me to do some drug education and after receiving a large donation towards this i am so excited to get this up and going! 

The point of me blogging about this is to show Gods grace, before the summer i did something that for a long time i though impossible to forgive but i know God and i know he forgives and it is his grace that blows me away that even though i am broken and mess up and do things that are so stupid he still uses me to further his kingdom! I am so excited to start this new journey with him!

Adventure....

I love a good adventure! People that know me well know that if someone mentions an adventure my eyes light up and i get all excited! something about going to new places doing new things having fun and being crazy, the kind of life i love to live.
I haven't always lived this way. for the first 16 years of my life i didn't leave my home town of Hertford without my parents. With my mum being ill i think in my mind i could never leave her, so i never did i never went on any school trips i didn't even like sleep overs! it wasn't till i was in year 11 at school doing my GCSE's that i was separated from my mum for more than a day. Mum was taken into hospital for a serious operation in London so i didn't get to see her very much. I believe the reason i passed my English GCSE is because i wrote about my mum. While mum was is in hospital it did show me that i could look after myself and others. I did all the washing and cleaning and i looked after my dad he's not very domestic plus he worked full time! I also had to look after my best friend she liked to drink and get herself into tricky situations all during this week mum was in hospital, i got beaten up, i saved my best friend from being thrown under a train and not forgetting it was in the middle of my GCSE's sounds horrific but i tell you what it taught me so much!
I knew from then that i could face most things! Mum came out of hospital and was bed bound for 6 weeks so i was mum of the house for a while :)
Its crazy to think that was 4 years ago and how things have changed! I haven't lived at home for 2 years and i have been on one crazy adventure! It started when i became a christian and since then God has taken me on a big adventure all over the WORLD! Although life has not been a smooth ride and there have been a few occasions where i have found things all to overwhelming and tried to quit God has been good and surrounded me with amazing supportive people! Life is never going to be easy but i am so glad i'm not doing it alone. I am on the best adventure of my life with God and i wouldn't change it for the world.

I can do all things through christ
who strengthens me

One of my recent Adventures was to BUTTERFLY WORLD! I love butterfly's not only because they are so beautiful but when i was younger i wrote a story about God as a butterfly in a battle field so every time i see a butterfly i am reminded that God never leaves and gives hope in all circumstances. So butterfly world not only was it somewhere i had not been before it was a great place to take photos! another one of my passions is taking lots of pictures of life! i was in my element surrounded by beauty, nature, camera in hand and some of be best friends around me! It was so much fun!! We took so many photos of exotic butterfly's and got to see one of the biggest ant colonies in in the country.... Random but pretty cool! After butterfly world we went strawberry picking! what a nature filed day! loved it so much fun doing natural things and just enjoying the things God had created! i love a good adventure and i cant wait for the next one!

Consequences........

Consequences, not really a normal blog title but the reason for this, is that this is the word i have probably used the most over the past 6 weeks! Consequences are something we deal with often but its only till now that i have learnt to actually deal with and understand the Consequences of my actions. 

I mentioned in my last blog post about a book called boundaries and i will say it again (now that i have officially finished the book) it is amazing. I have learnt so much from this book it brings healthy challenge to your life, not only does it challenge you on your boundaries with yourself, fiends, family, work and God it gives you lots of practical help on how to develop good healthy boundaries. 

Anyway book review over.... the reason i mention this is along side boundaries this book also mentions Consequences and punishment and it highlights the difference and it really hit home with me.

Life changing book

For so long i would find myself saying Why am i being punished? or God are you punishing me for what i did? After a recent event that took place in my life after a silly rash selfish decision i made to do something that could have been tragic, i have been having to deal with the Consequences of my action. The difference is i don't feel like i am being punished by anyone. on pervious occasions when i have made silly decisions i have always felt the people round me have been punishing me but actually they were still loving and supporting me but there were Consequences to my actions that i had to face and i didn't want to, i guess you could say i was just being immature and 'wanting my cake and eating it' Even though this dealing with Consequences stuff has been horrible God has been teaching me a lot and actually sometimes it takes us dealing with your Consequences to learn our lesson and change our behaviour. Even though i've missed out on some things i've been waiting a long time for i've learnt so much that i needed to learn i just hope i remember. It has not been an easy time but i am so grateful for all the amazing people in my life in the north and the south that love and support me despite my behaviour. I am looking forward to going back to the north even sharing a room! i miss my sister Gaby!  sometimes it takes almost losing everything to see what you have. Normally i would say what a load of rubbish and moan about how should realise what you got before it gets to that but i definitely know for me that i appreciate everything i have a whole lot more than i ever did! I cant wait for september to come around and for me to get back to work and the family that i live with who i know love me for who i am. 

Home sweet home...

'There is no place like home' This is the phrase i have been using almost everyday since i have been home. After being signed off work for a month i decided to head home, what a good decision!
Even though i sometimes struggle a little with being home for various reasons i have so far loved every second of beautiful little H-Town. I am most definitely a social butterfly there is no doubt about that! I just love to be around people! I enjoy nothing better than being with people i love and care about! Being in H-Town has definitely helped with this. I have been home 2 weeks and thus far i have not spent a single day on my own or even said the words 'i'm bored' once! i have something to do and someone to see everyday, from chilling in Hartham to going to my favourite little vintage tea house for coffee dates, not to mention the yummy braai's that i get to enjoy with my south african family from
church!

Getting ready for a Braai

What i have enjoyed most about being home is catching up with people, because i am home for a month it is giving me a nice amount of time to catch up with friends and family and just to be around more, living life with the people i love most. I have also been going to Cell which oh my gosh i have missed there is nothing better in life than being able to sit in a room full of people and know that each one of them loves you for you, and that you can tell them anything and know they will love and support you through it. If it was not for my precious Cell i would truly be lost the prayer and love i receive from them is amazing!

My Bird

Precious Zoe

   

Adventure.... I love a good adventure! I love to just pack my bag and go somewhere, i have managed to go on a few adventures while i have been home which has made my heart happy. Me and jess ventured into London so even though it was not a new adventure it was still exciting because we always do something new! while we were there we got our feet eaten by fish! it was so bizarre but we had so much fun! nothing like making memories!

London, Camden. 

Jessie having her feet nibbled by fish!

'Be Still' this is what God has been telling me for the past 2 and a half weeks. Despite the fact my head and my heart are all over the place i know God just wants me to be still. This is something i find almost impossible to do, I know that as a Christian quiet time with God is super important, i would be lying if i said this is something i am good at because it really is something i need to work on. However despite how hard i have been finding it amongst this storm i know God is still, he does not panic or worry or get stressed out, it is with him my peace will be found. The 2 verses i am holding on to at the moment are 

'You need only to be still the lord with fight for you'

Exodus 14:14

'Be still and know that i am God'

Psalm 46:10

God Bless 

Its been awhile....

Hello there fellow bloggers, it has been a very long time since I've last blogged, I guess i figured it would be easier than I first thought . I know blogging isn't difficult in itself  but remembering to blog can be!

A little update.......

I am still living in the northern part of the country, I am still living with the same family, I am still working for the same church. So not a lot has changed but a lot has happened. life has not been easy, and there are many things I really struggle with. I love adventures, however even the greatest of adventures can become hard, tiring, and rather difficult at times. Its true what they say, life is a roller coaster.

The first roller coaster i ever went on! and it was only last month!!  

Its the little things.... This is what I find myself saying when the people who love and care about me in the south ask me why I find it difficult in the north 'its the little things' i say, things such as not having my own bedroom. This has taken some getting used to but I still find it difficult. It has however made me realise just how important it is for me to have me time, people that know me well know that I am a social butterfly, however if I don't get me time things start to get difficult. The thing I miss most about having my own room is praying out loud before I go to sleep I am a verbal processor this means with people and God, its kind of hard to just chat, rant, moan, thank...well anything really, out loud when someone is trying to sleep next to you.

Other little things like, not having my friends in walking distance, my favorite vintage tea house, my animals, church, my bed! All the things I took for granted. I was so keen to get out of little Hertford and now I miss it. Its true you don't realize what you have until its gone.

What I am so thankful for is even though its been a pretty tough time and I have essentially hit rock bottom and I have even tried to quit, along people keep asking me/telling me to move back home, the peace and assurance I have from God that the North is where i should be is incredible. There is no doubt in my mind that I'm not in the right place which is both great and frustrating at the same time. There is a small part of me that does just want to move home, life would be easier and more comfortable but I think within my spirit I would be uncomfortable.

God uses us when we are uncomfortable and a quote i say to a lot of my Jesus loving friends is 'we gotta get comfortable with being uncomfortable' this is a lot easier said than done. God is teaching me a whole lot and I have a lot of things that I need to do to ensure that I am of use to people and to God. I know God can use us in many ways, however it becomes harder for God to do so when we become tired, empty, resentful, bitter, angry. We have ownership of our bodies this means we have a responsibility to take care of it. I am currently reading a book called boundaries, as you can probably tell it is all about boundaries, this book is such a challenging read and really does help with all areas of life. Not only does it help us to understand where our boundaries lack it also helps us to put in place better boundaries. what i like most about this book is i reminds me that i do have a voice and i can use it so go ahead give it a read and find your voice!

God bless

Student life

So... Life in Lymm is getting easier! starting to get into a bit more of a rhythm, i do miss my family and friends from hertford but i just have to keep reminding myself that God has bought me here for a reason!
The little village i live in is B-E-A-UTIFUL!! Not loads here but it does make me just think God you are amazing! Everything is going well with the Instones i'm fitting in nicely into the family life really starting to feel like home now!

Student life... so i am currently in my first year of studying youth mission and ministry at cliff college. Even though it is distant learning so i don't actually spend hardly any time at all at the college i am loving it. i have made some great friends there, i am gutted i don/t get the whole uni experience but hey at least i'm not left with the debt! If you didn't get it by the title f my course it is a Bible college. i couldn't think of anything better than writing an essay and being able to talk about God in it! although i do find myself going into preach mode sometimes so i do have to watch myself... but i'm getting there.

Cliff is definitely challenging me academically i am definitely not an academic person, if it was not for auto correct the spelling mistakes in my blog would be hideous. in fact sometimes i spell things so badly auto correct is even like what you on girl!? I am pretty chuffed that so far my essays have not been to shabby, definitely got something to do with auto correct ;)

God Bless